Increasing your inter-connections with people is a fantastic way to start out 2018. We humans are meant to live together in communities. It’s essential for our health and well being to feel like we’re understood and accepted by our tribe.

As the poet John Donne wrote, “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…” We learn our connection skills early in life.

The other truth is that we become more like what we’re around. Birds of a feather do flock together. If you want to grow, you may need to grow your circle of friends as well.  For example, if you want to eat healthier, you would want to be around friends who purchase more natural food and enjoy cooking rather than friends who enjoy eating out at fast food places all the time. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your other friends. Perhaps you can influence them to try different activities such as picnics with a hike.

Some people naturally can make friends whenever they enter a room. They need to be careful to create genuine interest rather than keeping the interaction at a light “small-talk” level.  Sometimes appearing to be friendly can be our personal wall to keep others out. And it holds us back just as much as an introvert’s inability to talk to a group.

How We Learned to Be Friends

When we’re young, our first connections are with our parents and any siblings we may have. Then we may start developing connections with the neighborhood children.  We learned how to love. And when friendships or love affairs ended, we learned to grieve. It hurts to feel rejected. But it’s through these trying times that we learn about ourselves and what kind of friendships we like to have.

Did you ever befriend someone because they were popular? And then did it just feel wrong? It’s better to connect with people who make us feel good inside about who we are as ourselves. And in exchange, we can give people the unconditional acceptance back that they need to thrive.

That doesn’t mean you only befriend people who are exactly like yourself. That would be boring. It’s through our differences that we can learn to grow and become more accepting and understanding.

Unfortunately, some children were never able to learn how to make friends while in school. They always felt like they were outsiders. No matter how old you are, it’s a perfect time to learn to “make friends.”

Did your mum always say you have to be a friend to make a friend? It’s important to learn how to find common interests, and then build upon that. Another good way to learn empathy and increase your happiness is by volunteering.

Inter-Connections Lower Your Stress

Helping others increases your happiness and provides some perspective on the causes of your stress.  You’re also increasing the happiness of someone else.

Ultimately, we want to be happy. We say we want to earn more money. Well, why is that? Because you want to buy something, right? Well, why do you want to buy something? To make you happy, right? So find ways to be happy now.

If work is causing you stress, is there any way you can find a way to be content? Can you build better relationships with coworkers or people in different teams? Or perhaps it’s time to go to a networking event and find another job that will be more fulfilling. LinkedIn is a great way to find people in your industry.

And you definitely want to build up your connections outside the office with people who have similar hobbies and interests. A Swedish study determined that stress levels of 13,395 employees were less in those who had activities to look forward to after the day at work. Friends help protect you from burnout and insomnia.

Inter-Connections Help with Health

If you want to improve your health, it helps to be part of a group who wants to achieve the same thing. Whether you get together to discuss your goals for 2018, or you try a new diet, you want people around you to be your cheerleaders. And it will reinforce your commitment if you’re helping build up others when they’re feeling low.

Did you know that strong inter-connections help boost your immune system and ability to fight diseases like cancer as well?

That’s part of why I love the Trio Lean and Clean Detox. You don’t just get the materials. You become part of a community. The next group detox commences 29th Jan, 8th Feb, 9th April (Sorry, but it’s Australia only) So you’re not only building inter-connections with others on the same path, but you’re also helping improve your body’s immune system.

If you’re not familiar with InnerOrigin, you can read up on the business built on the three pillars of wellness, abundance, and community.  Here’s what others have had to say.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can also watch a 2-minute testimonial video from a health coach here.

When you reset your gut, you reset your brain as well. And it’s so much easier to do when you’re surrounded by similar people also working towards the goal of health. So do check it out.

Inter-connections Help with Your Mind

And speaking of a clear mind, increasing your inter-connections will help you keep your brain young and healthy longer. When you talk with others, you’re using a lot of different parts of your brain. A 10-year Australian study found people with solid groups of friends were 22% more likely to live longer than individuals with fewer friends.

Some groups meet up to go on regular physical activity such as running, cycling and hiking. Moving blood to your brain definitely helps improve your cognitive functions.

Increasing your inter-connections also helps prepare you for the challenges ahead. When you feel you have the support of friends, you have more courage to overcome obstacles.

Inter-connections Increase Your Wealth

When you can work better with your co-workers and management, you will be seen as a leader. When you’re seen as an authority, you can assist with any conflict resolution. Being able to step in and quickly connect with differing viewpoints is a great skill. You will also be seen as a problem solver and looked upon favourably for a promotion.

Building up your inter-connections and feeling like you have a solid base also inspires your risk-taking ability. You know that if you make a mistake, it won’t be a big deal since your team will have your back.

If you have your own business, building up professional connections helps drive more sales. There are groups that meet regularly like BNI that provide referrals to each other.

Tips for Increasing Your Inter-Connections

You’re not going to be able to win everyone over. Nor should you. Other people have egos and their own baggage. Plus, not everyone is willing to make the connections. Do yourself a favor and don’t keep banging your head against a wall.  Spend your time and energy building up the connections with people who want to like you as you are.

Accept Others As They Are

The fastest way to build a connection is by accepting someone as they are and realize they’re not going to change. And sometimes people speak in a way that was normal with the way they were raised. Try to listen to the message and not how it’s being said.

When you treat everyone with a base level of respect, people will naturally gravitate towards you. Then it will be easier to build up your inter-connections with them. They already think they know and like you because they like the way they feel when you’re around.

So keep an open mind. You never know who will become a good connection to help you in your life.

Respect Boundaries

It’s important to let people open up at their pace. You may feel comfortable discussing in great detail about something that is personal but you don’t mind sharing. They may not be as comfortable opening up.

Also, don’t expect people to do what you recommend. They may ask for your opinion. In the end, they need to do what’s best for them just as you should do what’s best for you.  So, if you do have an opinion, try to couch it in terms of a suggestion. Better still, realize that they probably already know what they should do, but they are afraid to do it or commit to it. So ask them what they’re thinking of doing, and then reassure them that you believe in them.

Finally, only help if they ask for it. Some people will resent you for stepping in and helping because they feel like you didn’t listen to them or respect their boundaries.

Remember It’s Not Personal

Think about a server in a coffee shop. Usually, they come over with a pot of coffee and say “Would you like coffee?” If you say no, you’re not rejecting them. You’re rejecting the offer of coffee.

It’s like if you fail to achieve something, you’re not a failure. You’re learning and growing. We all have our own path to take.

Because we all have different backgrounds, we respond to things in different ways. For example, if someone’s parents forced them to eat a scrambled egg every day, and that person disliked eggs to begin with, they’re not going to be very enthusiastic when you suggest meeting at the Omelette House. They’re not rejecting you. They’re reacting from their history disliking eggs.

But you’re never going to know if you didn’t grow up with them. So if you feel a connection, don’t let something like that stop you. Continue to build the foundation of a friendship with them.

Honour Your Commitments

People need to know that they can depend on you whether it’s business or personal. If you say you’re going to do something, make sure you do it. If something comes up that prevents you from keeping it, let them know as soon as possible, and find a way to reschedule or make it up to them.

Keep your word. And take responsibility if you make a mistake. Apologise authentically if you overstep. The connection will heal quickly if you are showing you’re making an effort to respect the other person.

Learn How to Listen

You’ve heard the saying that we have one mouth and two ears, right? It’s important to really listen to what the other person is saying. Whatever you do, don’t interrupt if you can help it. Try not to think about your response while they’re talking. Instead, ask questions to show them that you’re listening and trying to understand their point of view.

Before you start the conversation, turn off your phone.  You want to show the person that they’re the most important thing in your life at that moment. When you’re constantly checking your phone, you’re saying that it’s more important than they are.

Final Thoughts

No matter your past, you can learn to put that all aside and make friends. Increase your inter-connections online and in person.  Find an area that you enjoy and look for others who enjoy it as well. Then let your joy of the subject help you build new friends and support systems.

Make 2018 the year you build up your connections both personally and professionally!