Ignite Your Soul

Self-Esteem Building Tips

Last week, we talked about self-confidence and I promised this week we’d discuss self-esteem.

It’s important that you learn to love and accept yourself, so I’ve got lots of tips for building up your sense of self-worth today.

What Is Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem is how much you value yourself. You could even define it as self-respect.

When Does Self-Esteem Get Set

Your sense of self worth begins in your early childhood. Some factors that influence it include

  • How others react to you
  • Experiences at home, school, community
  • Illnesses, injuries, or deaths (Yours or those close to you)
  • Your age and messages in the media
  • Your role in society

People with low self-regard will often subconsciously sabotage their success because deep down they don’t believe they deserve it.

That is why it’s so important that you identify your level of self-esteem, and make an effort to build it up

What Are the Benefits of Self-Esteem

A person with a healthy self-esteem generally has more positive relationships with others.

When your self-worth is in balance, you have an accurate view of yourself. You accept your weaknesses, and appreciate your strengths.

Too High Self Esteem?

An overdeveloped self-value can be just as bad as an underdeveloped one. Some experts believe those that boast and appear to have too high of a regard for themselves actually suffer from insecurity and a low self-esteem.

In fact, psychologists have a term for one aspect of this personal overestimation. When it comes to our estimate of our ability to get things done and our general effectiveness, a lot of us suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect. This is a cognitive bias that we have where we think we are superior in certain activities when it turns out from a purely objective test-based basis, we suck at them.

Many kids today have a hollow sense of self-worth. Their parents told them constantly that they’re special and wonderful (more on that below…stick with me). Kids were given participation trophies.

These kids have never experienced feeling badly to build up an inner resilience that gives them the confidence in their abilities and a sense of worthiness.

Either way, it’s good to have a balanced approach and acceptance of who you are right now. Then you can have a plan to continue to grow and improve throughout your life.

How Is Self-Esteem Different Than Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is your belief in your ability to do something. It can vary depending upon the situation.

Your self-esteem will tend to stay the same in all situations unless you work to build it up.

When they are out of balance, you can suffer from impostor syndrome where you act confident, but deep down inside you’re waiting for them to call you a fraud.

To help you work thought this, I have a three step process for you.

First, you need to focus on your objective results first. What are you doing. And where are you on the scale. I suspect if you look at things objectively, you’re doing better than you think.

Next, you need to internalize feeling proud of your objective results. Look at yourself in the mirror and say things like “Wow, you met your sales goal three weeks before anyone else did.” And “Hooray, you stuck to your diet more than 80% of the time over the last month.”

The third step is to repeat this often.

How to Increase Your Self Worth

Starting this moment, you need to commit to learning to love yourself.

You can start journaling one thing a day that you did that you admired about yourself.

It can even be from something negative. Remember, in every challenge is a blessing. Perhaps you learned something important. Or maybe you didn’t react like you would have in the past.

Choosing a response is a wonderful way to build up your self-worth and self-confidence.

Increase Your Belief In Yourself

Be willing to take risks. Be willing to believe you deserve all the blessings that you’ve written down in your gratitude journal.

Choose to treat each day like it’s a fun adventure. Remember that there will be times where you have to fight the dragon to get the hidden treasure. Don’t take the mistakes personally.

Spend time learning from them. And don’t forget to smile when you’ve “leveled up!”

Indonesian little boy hugging his mom, who is computing in home office

Increase Self Esteem In Children

Children need unconditional love and acceptance. But when giving them praise, it’s better to make it specific rather than a blanket declaration.

Kids have to learn that they will make mistakes, and that it’s a good thing.

Making and learning from mistakes also helps battle perfectionism. Plus, this allows the kids to build up their self-confidence at the same time.

Eventually we learn that life doesn’t reward us for just showing up. Our employer expects things to be done on time to a certain quality. It’s better to learn sooner rather than later that you must understand that there are consequences, and that you have a strong enough belief in yourself that you can bounce back from anything.

How to Build Self-Esteem and Confidence

Building up a sense of self worth can take time. It requires letting go of negativity and treating yourself with love.

Be Kind

The most important way you can build yourself up is by being nice to yourself. Become aware of that little voice in your head. Write down the thoughts and ask yourself if you could ever imagine someone saying that out loud.

Then tear up the paper. And start saying positive and kind things to yourself.

Just Say No to Perfectionism

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone.

So don’t be embarrassed if you make one. Learn what you can and apply it in the future.

It’s also essential that you don’t compare yourself to anyone else. We’re all on different journeys. You do you to the best of your abilities.

How Exercise Improves Self-Esteem

Exercise is a lovely way to break free from ruts and funks. There’s something about movement and releasing endorphins that puts a smile on your face.

And make sure you feel positive towards your body for allowing you to move.

Hiking and leisure theme. Adventure people on hike hiking in nature

Do What Makes You Happy

Try to spend a little time every day doing what makes you smile and feel worthwhile.

And don’t forget to celebrate everything. Even the little things.

My Final Thoughts

To truly ignite your life, you have to have a balance. I don’t mean that you spend equal amounts of times on the important things every day.

Some days, you’ll be more focused on family, some days, more on work. And most days, you should spend time being focused on yourself.

Whether you’re building up your self-confidence or your self-esteem, you should do a little something every day.

It’s time to stop letting your failures and disappointments define you. Ignite your life by releasing the negativity in the past, accepting who you are as a whole person, and enjoy the experience of everything every single day.

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