Mindset

Learn How to Make Decisions

One of the best gifts we can give ourselves is the ability to make decisions.

One of the most important parts of decision making is knowing when you need to make a decision, and knowing when you don’t need to make one. Plus, there are certain times of the day when it’s easier to make difficult decisions.

And learning how to recharge our ability to make a decision can help us when we’ve got a lot of decisions to be made.

Decision Making Is Like A Muscle

The more you decide, the easier it becomes to decide. When you practice decision making, you’re training your brain to look for patterns that support you.

Learn to Make Decisions

Most of us were taught to make decisions by writing down the pro’s and con’s on a piece of paper that was divided down the center. But that doesn’t really help us learn how to make decisions.

First, we need a clear mind to be open to the thoughts and feelings that come our way.

We need to learn to listen to our body’s internal signals. Our gut rarely steers us wrong.

The pro’s and con’s are important, and writing them down can help our brain start to think more creatively. But we need to go beyond that and evaluate the consequences.

If we go to one school over another, what are the benefits and unforeseen problems? One friend’s daughter wanted to go away to a University that was 12 hours drive by automobile. She loved the campus and all the activities, but forgot to evaluate if it was a good program for her major (it wasn’t) or how she would handle homesickness (not well).

You Have the Power to Choose

We need the experience of making a decision that wasn’t the best so we can learn how to think through consequences and benefits.

If you find yourself on a path that you decide you don’t like, you have the power to choose to go in another direction. Your journey down the first path wasn’t wrong. It offered you lessons and opportunities to grow in wisdom.

This wisdom allows us to align our lives with our inner soul and ignite our life

Know When to Recharge Your Decision Making Muscle

We only have so much decision-making-ability in us each day. So if you’re making a lot of decisions in the morning, you may find it difficult to make decisions in the afternoon or evening.

You’re perfectly normal in that regard!

The important thing to remember is that you need to find ways to relax and recharge your decision making muscles.

When You’re Super Stuck

Often times, we know what we want to choose but for whatever reason we can’t let ourselves decide. Maybe it’s near the end of the day and we just can’t make one more decision.

Maybe both choices seem equally wonderful!

Or maybe you really don’t care about the outcome, but people are pressing you to make the decision.

Here are some quick tips to help you move forward.

Toss A Coin

A quick way through this is to make a decision by flipping a coin, and then spend five to ten minutes reflecting. Are you happy with the outcome? Can you see yourself moving forward with that?

If not, the chances are you really wanted the other option.

Do You Have to Decide?

If it’s something simple like whether to choose chocolate or vanilla ice cream or what to eat for dinner, it’s ok to pass on deciding.

Often, I’ll ask the server what is their favorite, and then choose that. I’ve never been disappointed.

And if others are pressing you to decide, flip a coin. After all, if they want you to make the decision, they can’t tell you how you make your decision. Otherwise, they can step up to the plate.

Have you ever had that one friend who said “Oh, I don’t care, you decide.” Then you do and they find a problem with your decision?

You don’t have to walk into that passive aggressive trap any more. Either flip a coin, or turn the tables and insist that they decide this time.

Do You Have Just Enough Information?

We need to find the balance of having not enough information and having all the information to make a decision. Both lead to paralysis of analysis.

When you’ve mastered decision making, you’ll know how to get just enough information to make a decision, and have the courage to pivot as new information shows up.

Here’s a few additional tips to help you decide if you have enough information.

Remember, stop looking for a prediction of the future. There’s a difference in making a decision and looking for a prediction.

There is risk in everything that is complicated because people change, ideas change, desires change, things change. Your decision is based on what you know and believe to be true at that point in time. You can change it later or make adjustments.

Learn to be as informed as possible but do set limits. For example, if you find yourself procrastinating on making a decision, tell yourself that you will read fifty articles on the subject and talk to ten people. The you will make a decision by 5:00pm on Thursday (or whenever, obviously)

Avoid Analysis Paralysis by realizing that very few things are permanent. Often we want to do everything, and we fear that if we make one choice we’ll never get any more choices ever. And while we know that to be true, how many times are we stopped from making a decision because we’re focused on the one thing rather than the big picture?

If you choose to go to Bali for a holiday, that doesn’t mean you’ll never get to Japan or Singapore for holidays. It just means you’re deciding to put your money, time and effort into a relaxing holiday in Bali in the next year.

You wouldn’t want French onion soup, and butternut squash soup, and mushroom risotto all at once for your lunch. So choose one and save the rest for another time.

Finally, remind yourself of the times you made successful decisions. Even if they were small, it helps your lizard brain relax and believe you’re capable of making more good decisions than bad ones.

You may even want to start another journal just for successful decisions you’ve made! That would be fun to review at the end of the year.

Make a Mindmap

Mindmaps are based on a non-linear method of using only the keywords and phrases for the issue at hand. So instead of writing out what you know, and what you don’t know (like in a T-chart), you can have many different areas to evaluate and ways of expressing things.

Mindmaps anchor on associations. So if you were trying to decide how to spend some extra money you just received (bonus, windfall, raise, inheritance, etc.), you could draw a center circle and put the amount of money in.

Then create some lines off that center and put a circle at the end of each. You could put down debt reduction, investments, new clothes, dining out, training, etc. The key is to write down all the possibilities for the problem that you’re trying to solve. And leave space.

Often as you continue, you’ll think of a lot more ideas. Mindmaps are highly creative.

Then, you can create lines off of each solution and write down your thoughts and feelings on each. Maybe debt reduction will bring you peace. But training could bring you more opportunities in your work.

Write down as much as you can.

Take A Break

Spend some time walking or meditating. Clear everything out of your mind. Journal how things feel.

Evaluate Your Mindmap

Now is when you dive back in and read through what you’ve written. Use some colored pencils or pens to highlight the most important pieces.

The decision should seem effortless now.

My Final Thoughts

Learning to make good decisions is one step along the path of self-mastery.

And as you make more good decisions, you gain confidence in yourself and your abilities.

So learn to have the courage to choose. Often the fear of making a “wrong decision” is what holds us back. I promise you that there are very few truly wrong decisions.

Each choice does have consequences, and some may seem positive and others may seem negative. How many times have you made what you thought was a good choice and it ended up with unintended negative consequences?

I have had my share of those.

We need to not beat ourselves up but rather embrace the opportunity to learn how to keep learning and accepting the things that come our way. It’s a process not an end result.

And I will leave you with this quote:

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

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