One of the best ways to ignite your life is by building up your self-confidence. It can assist you in so many areas of your life.
A good sense of self-confidence will boost your ability to try new things, and stick with them until you’re able to master them.
What Is Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence is your attitude and your belief in your ability to get things done. This impacts your estimate of how likely you are to succeed at your goals.
Self-confidence also affects how you feel when things don’t go right. It’s your resilience and ability to bounce back after mistakes or failures.
So it comes as no surprise that your self-confidence plays a big role in whether you’re going to try an activity over and over again until you succeed.
So What Is Self-Esteem?
Your self-esteem is your estimate of your self-worth. It’s how much you value yourself as a person.
There are many celebrities out there that have a strong self-confidence but poor self-esteem. Those are the ones that ultimately self-destruct. An example is the golfer Tiger Woods.
He appeared to have everything, but his poor self-esteem led him to make choices that damaged his life.
Why You Want Self-Confidence
Believing in yourself and your abilities will give you the courage you need to live your life as you see fit, and the peace in your heart and mind that you can handle everything that comes your way.
We all know that life throws us curve balls. A strong self-confidence gives you the quiet belief in your abilities as well as the courage to act as needed.
What Self-Confidence Isn’t
As I mentioned, self-confidence is not self-esteem.
Next week, I’ll explore self-esteem and ways to boost your belief in your worth.
Self-confidence isn’t boasting or bragging. It’s not a hollow thing. True self-confidence is a quiet competence where you know that you can try something and survive.
You welcome the opportunity to learn and build up your skills.
How to Get Extreme Confidence
The foundation of self-confidence is competence. Competence is your ability to get things done right.
I don’t mean perfectly. And I’m not talking about standards of excellence.
When you can take on a project that you’ve never done before, but know that you’re capable of learning and applying the skills that you need, that is competence.
Is It All Just Attitude?
Having a positive attitude is very important when building up your self-confidence.
But competence has to be a part of your DNA. You need to assimilate it so totally that it becomes second nature.
You want to be a product of your will and not your circumstances. This increases your competence and confidence because you know the skills are there whenever you need it.
So at some point, you need to start acting with confidence. You won’t always feel confident. So just repeat “I can” as your mantra, and push forward.
Can You Feel Truly Confident?
At first, practicing confidence will feel awkward. But remember that you’re building a foundation. So take the time you need to master your competence.
Then the magic happens.
You will find yourself in a situation where you need to step up and just handle a problem, and you find yourself doing whatever it takes.
Enjoy that sense of being in control of your life. That is what true confidence feels like.
How to Be Smart and Confident
Building up your self-mastery is a process. And as with all changes in habits, it’s best to start on one specific area and build off of that.
For example, if you want to be a better public speaker, don’t try to do that and learn better networking skills, and better cooking skills all at the same time.
Curiosity Is Your Friend
You’ll be more successful if you’re enjoying what you’re doing, or are connected to a deep “why.”
Some people prefer to start with something they already do well, and get that easy win.
Others want to focus on their biggest weakness.
Spend some time writing out areas in your life where you have self-confidence and areas where you wish you were stronger.
And remember, you don’t have to be perfect at everything. I recommend focusing only on the things you’re interested in, or have a direct need for.
Once you start building up your self-confidence, you can create a new list of areas. Just don’t get caught up in perfection’s all-or-nothing trap.
Smaller Improvements Have Greater Results
Remember the book Atomic Habits? If you work to improve something just 1% every day, you’ll be a master by the end of the year.
The key is to be consistent, and make the improvements small enough to not seem like you’re doing something major. You’ll be more inclined to continue if it doesn’t feel burdonsome.
Quick Tips to Help You Boost Your Beliefs
I have some simple things you can do to help with boosting your confidence.
Take Ownership Of Your Life
Brian Tracy has a saying: If it’s to be, it’s up to me.
This means that you accept full responsibility for everything you think and do.
You can turn off the negative thoughts. You can choose a positive outlook. You are the master of your mindset, and your goals.
Be Your Compassionate Voice
Have you ever heard your self-talk? Really heard it? Spend a day writing down your thoughts. Set a timer to go off every 10-15 minutes and write down what you were just thinking.
I was surprised at how negative my thoughts were when I did this.
Take the opportunity to write down more positive thoughts such as “You can do this.” And “Learning is fun!” You will find the right ones for you. Just make sure they’re positive.
Pretend you’re talking to a child who needs encouragement. And practice believing in your own abilities to master things.
The Power of “Yet”
Give yourself the space you need to master something by using the word “yet.”
Yet has a powerful ability to enable a growth mindset. For example, if you can’t your mind thinking you don’t have something, quickly tack on “yet” to remind yourself it will happen in the future.
Everything is possible with time and knowledge. If someone else did it, you can too. And sometimes, we just need to get out of our own way and let creativity sneak in. We can do that with the space of “Yet.”
Stop Negatively Comparing Yourself to Others
We are all on our separate journeys. You may be comparing yourself to someone who is mastering an area faster than you are.
Focus on what’s important to you, and that’s your own strengths and goals.
Maybe they’re looking at you and comparing themselves to your areas of mastery and feeling unhappy about themselves. You never know what’s going on in another person’s mind.
It’s not always easy. Instead of making it negative, try to turn it into something positive. Admire them for their mastery. Use them as an inspiration.
If you find yourself in a rut, remind yourself that you want to be like them.
My Final Thoughts
Be fully committed to building up your self-confidence. You deserve the best life possible.
Don’t make it a problem to be solved in a negative way. Try to focus on the playful side of learning and improving. Give yourself the space you need by using the word “yet” and by finding the joy in repeating a task until you master it.
If you don’t journal, start a victory log that you can review when you’re feeling down.
Finally, remember that a good self-confidence allows you to be comfortable in your own skin. You know that you can handle whatever comes up. That peace of mind is worth spending the time and effort to build up your self of your own abilities. But let go of perfectionism and just embrace the wonderful person that you are.
What do you want to work on first? Leave me a comment!